The Same River Twice

September 7th, 2011 | Posted by AnnMarie in Notes - (2 Comments)

I’ve taken to rereading books.

Not whole books. Just a page here or there.

Sometimes when my brain gets a bit overwhelmed, the words themselves, outside of the commitment of a whole story, are soothing.

It’s not the same though to pick up a brand new book, read a few pages and put it back down again. That doesn’t work. It has to be something I’ve read before, something a bit familiar. Something just faintly recognizable, like a book I’ve read years ago.

I find the familiarity both comforting and unsettling, and I’m not sure which sensation I’m reading these smatterings of pages for.

Comfort comes from knowing–knowing what to expect, how you might react. And it’s easy to think you’re not going to learn anything new from something so comfortable, because you think you can have some sort of prescience of the impact.

But then you get surprised.

Herakleiatos is credited with telling us “You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you.” Picking up an old book is like trying to step once again into that same river–I always notice the change. Different words will strike me, I’ll “get” an idea like I hadn’t before, I sympathize with a different character, I take an idea for granted that I once thought was illuminating.

And this the unsettling. The realization that things are different, I am different. It’s not the books that change; the words inside them are still the same. Unlike our friends or family, who (presumably) are also changing, books are a static measure against which to gauge where we’ve come.

And sometimes we need just a little hint that the water is still moving.

 

 

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Transitions

September 6th, 2011 | Posted by AnnMarie in Notes - (3 Comments)

It’s September.

Though I haven’t been in school for a very long time, for me this month always hearkens a feeling of newness, a fresh beginning. A new year.

With that, I’ve embarked on a journey to realign this website. It’s been here for several years, and I’ve never really gotten a good grip on what I wanted it to be. It’s always been a place holder of sorts. A place where people can find out about what I do (though not in a huge amount of detail) and a little bit about what I think about (though I’m not terribly confessional here, and don’t usually go deep). I’m feeling like it’s time to change that.

What’s interesting about this is that, in a way, it’s also a reflection of something I’m doing on a personal level: a sort of self-realignment. The past year and a half has held a lot of changes for me in terms of work, having moved, some loss (and lots of gain). I take for granted the toll that can take on a person. It’s exhausting. Even when most of the changes are good, change is still tough and it takes a lot of habit forming and new ways of thinking and being to adjust.

And so… though it’s unnerving, I’m making the conscious decision to change this website in an effort to make it more “me”. My hope is that the process will help me distill the purpose of the site better, and in doing so, help it to be a sort of illustration of the other more personal work I’m doing.

I’d be grateful for any feedback or thoughts anyone wanted to share, either on the process, the mechanics, or anything else. Wish me luck!

 

 

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Why “The Noun”?

September 30th, 2008 | Posted by AnnMarie in Uncategorized - (1 Comments)

I’ve heard and read a lot of advice about blogging—the rules of blogging. “Choose one thing at which you are an expert and write about it.” “Always write about a single thing that you are most passionate about.”

For a while, it really disturbed me that I wasn’t really passionate about any one thing. I toiled away mentally until I frustrated myself, believing there was something wrong with me for not having a one track mind for cross stitch, home office organization, or 1980s Czech cinema.  That was until I realized that I was really a little bit interested in just about everything. And that was actually a good thing.

I like to write, and because of that, I also like to watch. Almost anything can be fascinating to me. I like to use my senses to take in the world, toss it around in my head for a while, like a salad, and then see what combinations come out. Unlike some people, who really are passionate about one thing, and throw themselves into it, whether it be a job, music, sports, whatever, I could throw myself into almost anything for a short period of time.

That’s why The Noun works for me. It covers people, places, things, qualities, states. I can write about anything, but still have some semblance of structure; somewhere for my 3 readers to look for particular pieces I’ve written.

Besides, if Seinfeld had a wildly successful show about nothing, couldn’t I at least have a blog about everything?

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