Posts Tagged: Inuary

States — 1 Comment
24
Mar 09

Erm… Yeah…

It’s been a while since I’ve written a halfway decent post. It seems March has been the month of hiding out.

Normally I’m all about hibernation after the holiday season, but normally snap out of it at the end of Inuary (for those uninitiated, this is the two week period following New Years during which introverts need not speak with or otherwise engage with other humans). By the time February rolls around, I’m ready to rock and/or roll once more. But this year was different. Like the office-dwelling mouse, I’ve made furtive forays out into the open to make grabs at stray doughnut crumbs, but find myself scurrying for cover until the humans have all left for the evening.

So, you can imagine how thrilled I was last week when a colleague taught me the American Sign Language sign for ‘awkward’. I cannot even begin to tell you how this, in just a short time, has changed my life. I’ve systematically taught the inner circle of Favorite Humans (FH) what this sign means. Now, when I make the sign to them, they know to pursue conversation/social engagement no further. Works like a charm.

FH: “How are you today?”

AM: *makes ‘awkward’ sign*

FH: “Cool. Give me a call later, k?”

You see, the awkward sign makes it all less awkward.

It’s genius.

Now, if only this had worked the other day. I met an acquaintance at the booze store whom I hadn’t seen in ages. She was completely and utterly spaced out. I was feeling oddly jovial, and teased her a little about the string of drool I’d imagined hanging from her mouth glinting in the sun. After a few moments of this, she confessed to me that the reason she was zoned out was that her thought she might be pregnant and was pondering the wisdom of buying the giant bottle of vodka her eyes has unseeingly rested upon.

AM: *makes ‘awkward’ sign*

Qualities / States — No Comments
8
Jan 09

Resolution, Schmesolution…

The beginning of a new year always seems a weighty, serious time. People have just come off of spending too much time with family, or friends who are just like family, making all of life’s imperfections more poignant and obvious. Despite the cheerful holiday demeanor and good times, a lot of dissatisfaction with the status quo bubbles and roils its way to the surface. In response, resolutions are made. Diets and fitness regimes are initiated, the buds of new habits are formed, cigarettes are shunned, spiritual growth is embarked upon, new jobs are sought. Often, by the end of January chocolate sneaks back into the meal plan, old jobs once again seem not so bad, and spiritual growth reverts to spiritual shrinking or at least stasis.

Now that we’re officially an entire week into the month of January (and almost a week into the festival of Inuary) I’ve had a little time to reflect on how I feel about resolutions. One side of the resolution coin is that the beginning of a new year is a like a new start, a symbolic way of starting afresh. It’s a period of collective reflection and relative calm, during which we can all get our shit together.

The other side of that coin is that New Year’s resolutions are yet another form of pressure, and a not-so-friendly reminder of all the work you have to do before you believe you are the fully actualized, perfectly delightful person you know resides at your very core. I would hardly say I’m anti-self improvement. On the contrary, I think anytime is a good time to start developing healthy habits and making positive change. I’m just saying that when we focus on what we’re doing wrong, we’re spending a lot less time doing things right. Benchmarking and positive reinforcement: good. Deriding ourselves up and comparing: bad.

So, for all those of us who beat ourselves up for sneaking a cigarette or chocolate, for getting a little too drunk, for hating Monday (through Friday), for forgoing Pilates class to have a burger and beer with our love, I say this: get off the resolution wagon, and catch a ride on the close-to-the-ground, slow moving and amply padded gentleness wagon. It’s more fun over here anyway.

Things — No Comments
29
Dec 08

Holiday Perks for Introverts

The holiday season is not the ideal time for an introvert. The raucousness, the seemingly endless gatherings, phone calls, and grueling schedule of social obligations–they are all just a little too much for someone who spends much of their time “upstairs”.

Now that the holidays are almost over, and the buckling down period that is January and February are nearly upon us, I can breathe a sigh of relief that I will finally have an excuse to decline offers to socialize. During the post-holiday times, it’s perfectly reasonable to turn down evenings out because they conflict with the other things that normally come this time of year: resolutions.

The post-New Year celebration period is like its own micro-holiday for introverts. Since everyone is resolving to lose the weight, save money, eat better, and otherwise self-improve, they are spending more time at the gym, less time and money on going out and making party. This means there are fewer awkward moments of being invited to an event you don’t even want to go to in the first place. The introverts have free reign to become the recluses they so naturally are because everyone else is doing the same thing.

So, just as Festivus became “the holiday for the rest of us” so shall the two weeks of downtime associated January henceforth be the official holiday of Innies. I shall call it “Inuary”.

Inuary will be a “festival” beginning on the first Sunday after New Year. There will be no parties. No gifts (other than silence) will be exchanged, and there will be no decorations. Acceptable gatherings, if any, will entail little or no small talk, and will involve very small groups of people talking quietly about ideas and/or feelings.

So join me in a rousing moment of silence in honor of the winter calendar’s hottest new holiday–Inuary.

We’ll discuss what we think about it in a few weeks.