The beginning of a new year always seems a weighty, serious time. People have just come off of spending too much time with family, or friends who are just like family, making all of life’s imperfections more poignant and obvious. Despite the cheerful holiday demeanor and good times, a lot of dissatisfaction with the status quo bubbles and roils its way to the surface. In response, resolutions are made. Diets and fitness regimes are initiated, the buds of new habits are formed, cigarettes are shunned, spiritual growth is embarked upon, new jobs are sought. Often, by the end of January chocolate sneaks back into the meal plan, old jobs once again seem not so bad, and spiritual growth reverts to spiritual shrinking or at least stasis.
Now that we’re officially an entire week into the month of January (and almost a week into the festival of Inuary) I’ve had a little time to reflect on how I feel about resolutions. One side of the resolution coin is that the beginning of a new year is a like a new start, a symbolic way of starting afresh. It’s a period of collective reflection and relative calm, during which we can all get our shit together.
The other side of that coin is that New Year’s resolutions are yet another form of pressure, and a not-so-friendly reminder of all the work you have to do before you believe you are the fully actualized, perfectly delightful person you know resides at your very core. I would hardly say I’m anti-self improvement. On the contrary, I think anytime is a good time to start developing healthy habits and making positive change. I’m just saying that when we focus on what we’re doing wrong, we’re spending a lot less time doing things right. Benchmarking and positive reinforcement: good. Deriding ourselves up and comparing: bad.
So, for all those of us who beat ourselves up for sneaking a cigarette or chocolate, for getting a little too drunk, for hating Monday (through Friday), for forgoing Pilates class to have a burger and beer with our love, I say this: get off the resolution wagon, and catch a ride on the close-to-the-ground, slow moving and amply padded gentleness wagon. It’s more fun over here anyway.
